You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
