theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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