You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Lo siento on account of my penis...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
