Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
