I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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