Moan for me like Helen Keller
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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