she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
