Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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