covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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