Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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