id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
