sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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