so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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