Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
