Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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