This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
