Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
