New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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