I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
