She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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