I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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