Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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