great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
