Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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