worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize