Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
