I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize