He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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