I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
