please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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