i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
