absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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