Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
