His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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