Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize