he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Fuck appropriateness.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
