what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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