i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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