No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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