i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
