i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
