you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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