i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
