Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize