the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
