Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
