Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
