I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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