so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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