sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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