How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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