Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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