What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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