Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
