I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Who died my cat blue again?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize