i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
